19 April 2006

Metaphor Cage Match

MMR Hat Trick

18 April 2006

14 April 2006

Smuggled Puppies

11 April 2006

Monkeys With Rakes

Suggested by Jen.

10 April 2006

The Electric Belly

Suggested by Lucky, who thinks the band would play "Buddha-metal."

The Man Who Invented China

Bacon Foot

04 April 2006

The Death Freezers

Inspired by Huw's field trip

Spider-Infested Head Wound

Suggested by Rachel on MooCow's blog and brought to my attention by Heather.

30 March 2006

10% Juice

28 March 2006

Atomic Nuts

10 March 2006

08 March 2006

My Ginger Beard

06 March 2006

Broken By Tuesday

28 February 2006

Jenny Appreciation Society

Inspired by Bloomington, Minnesota's newest social club.

24 February 2006

Death Panda

Inspired by 2008 Olympic mascot Jingjing

Cheeky Football

Inspired by Pille the World Cup 2006 mascot.

23 February 2006

Jurassic Beaver

Inspired by this story.

17 February 2006

Sunny Death Squad

A bastardization of Sarah's suggested band name of Sunni Death Squad.

16 February 2006

8 Ounces Of Me

Inspired by the fact that it is possible to make jewelry using 8 ounces of cremated remains.

15 February 2006

Looking At Her Eleanor

Inspired by a post from Heather

Hotel Lotion

The Mighty Yak

George W. Pussy

Suggested by Crystal

14 February 2006

Throwing Chinese Women

Inspired by the way in which Chinese figure skater Zhang Hao reared back and tossed Zhang Dan across the ice like a sack of potatoes in their 2006 silver-medal performance.

13 February 2006

Duct Tape Erection

Suggested by Crystal

10 February 2006

God's McDonalds

09 February 2006

Jesus Pancake

06 February 2006

02 February 2006

Fatty Groundhog

01 February 2006

Fiddy Ceiniog

A Welshified version of the gangsta way to say 50 Cent.

31 January 2006

Drowning Nebraska

Inspired by the plight of Ashland, Neb.

Netherlands Salamander Invasion

Inspired by Astrid's recent dinner conversation.

28 January 2006

Funk Audit

Suggested by Goo.

23 January 2006

20 January 2006

Sex Pest

19 January 2006

The Slut Horses

Inspired by this news story.

17 January 2006

Welsh Heat

Suggested by jay are and inspired by my nickname for Huw.

Butt-Bandit Cowboys

Inspired by my co-worker's politically incorrect description of "Brokeback Mountain."

16 January 2006

The Quartormemes

Inspired by the French habit of quickly bringing in a 14th guest if a dinner party has 13 guests.

Rage Hangover

13 January 2006

Refractory Nozzlemen

Suggested by Jege.

Threaded Brass Nipples

Suggested by Jege.

12 January 2006

Hajj Stampede

10 January 2006

09 January 2006

The Best Melissa

The Death Magnets

05 January 2006

Perforated Colon

Suggested by Afe.

04 January 2006

Feral Puppies

Suggested by Heather.

Shit Nog

Inspired by this recipe.

03 January 2006

Imaginary Belgium

Inspired by the question of whether Belgium exists.

I Believe In Belgium

30 December 2005

Death Bucket

God Bless You, Mel Tillis

Perhaps a better name for a band's album

Cheesy Ham Vishnu

Variation on a theme.

Cheesy Ham Wreath

Inspired by this awful recipe.

29 December 2005

RabidCow

Inspired by this news story.

The Tracksuit Bottoms

22 December 2005

21 December 2005

Failed Blog Ambition

Inspired by the countless blogs that have only one post.

20 December 2005

19 December 2005

Nipple Reconstruction

Inspired by use of the phrase in a health story about using a fat from a woman's ass to give her bigger breasts.

Problems With Verbs

18 December 2005

Zippy-Zappy Happy

Inspired by my grandfather.

A Squirrel Named Che

Suggested by Kari.

Meat and Candy Necklaces

Inspired by my 4-year-old nephew.

09 December 2005

Blue Monkeys

Suggested by jay are and inspired by this blog post.

08 December 2005

Sticky Buttons

Buckwheat Pancake

Mwnci Bach Drwg

Welsh for "Naughty Little Monkey," it is inspired by a song that is currently one of my favorites.

07 December 2005

Frivolous Gymsuit

Suggested by Heather, who was inspired by this blog post.

Yellow Afro Love Munch

Suggested by Crystal

El Presidente de NASCAR

Inspired by a Domino's Pizza ad starring Dale Earnhardt Jr.

The Provo Incident

Inspired by the time I was walking in Provo, Utah, and a guy leaned out the window of a passing car and screamed "Hey man, fuck you!"

Strangely, he did not appear to be screaming at me. I think he was directing his anger toward Provo in general.

Booze Sippy Cup

Civil War Surgery

The Italian Suppositories

Color-Coded Fear