03 September 2014

19 August 2013

30 October 2012

07 October 2012

Electric Corset

Waltz Riot

Mentioned in this blog post about Strictly Come Dancing.

21 October 2011

07 October 2011

06 September 2011

22 May 2011


Asian Lunch Mothers

Suggested by Susan

Earplug Superstore

Suggested by Susan: "A real thing, would just make a good band name I think."

11 Metres of Fun

Sweet Fortress

10 March 2011

21 February 2011


Suggested by Heather, who found it via this site.

16 February 2011

14 May 2010

Girlfriend Control

Inspired by the pride of Hirwaun.

24 March 2010

Escape Plan Julia

Inspired by this picture aboard the Julia, the ferry ship that runs between Swansea, Wales, and Cork, Ireland.

23 February 2010

Norwegian Curling Pants

Inspired by the choice of trousers worn by the Norwegian curling team and suggested by fuggirls.

21 February 2010

09 January 2010

Kneel To The Prettiest

As inspired by the title of this book.

13 May 2009

25 April 2009

Moo-Moo Star

Inspired by my friend's daughter's suggestion as to what the moon's name should be.

19 April 2009

30 March 2009

Bad Gateway

Inspired by an error message I was getting from TwitPic

11 March 2009

The Belfast Whores

Inspired by Sky News' idiot news story in which they asked a load of Belfast fashion students about renewed tension in Northern Ireland.

26 February 2009

16 February 2009

Fighting Creeping Melancholy

Inadvertantly suggested by aquafortis on her Twitter.

05 February 2009

Heretic Maze

Suggested by George Williams.

Porn Stars With Wedding Rings

I always find that slightly off-putting.

15 December 2008

13 October 2008

The Sex Nadirs

Suggested by Heather, who saw it on a knitting website: "The thing in your relationship that concerns me is the lack of sex. Obviously, things wane. That initial burst of 5 times a day eventually wears off and all relationships do have their sex nadirs (The Sex Nadirs would be a terrible name for a band), but these things are cyclical and temporary."

15 September 2008

10 September 2008

God Particle

Inspired by the LHC.

02 July 2008

29 May 2008

Strong Earthquake

Just for the sake of being able to go with this headline

15 May 2008

Hatless Welsh Whores

Inspired by friend Fflur's self-description.

09 May 2008

Y Rheng Byddwn

Welsh for "The Row of I Would," inspired by a line of girls I saw the other day, all in their summery low-cut top glory.

06 May 2008

Dirty English Whores

Inspired by my friend's flatmate, whom I am convinced is the one who gave her ring worm (never mind that my friend works with children).

16 April 2008

Bad Luck Steve

Inspired by the strange tone of disdain used by Dermot Murnaghan on "Eggheads" when he was consoling a contestant.

Bomb Pops to the Malevolent

Inspired by phrase I used in a recent column.

27 March 2008

The Joyful Deaths of Several Young Children

Taken from the utterly-strange-but-true title of a 17th century children's book: "A Token for Children: Being an Exact Account of the Conversion, Holy and Exemplary Lives, and Joyful Deaths, of Several Young Children" by James Janeway (1671)

30 January 2008

Candy Fist

Inspired by my desire to put my hand in a candy floss machine.

Isolating Cock

Written on Arriva Trains carriages. One assumes it is some sort of mechanical thing.

Isolating Cock

Written on Arriva Trains carriages. One assumes it is some sort of mechanical thing.

28 January 2008

The Poo Kettlers

Thought up by Michelle, who misinterpreted a student survey.

09 December 2007

Transdimensional Porch Swing

Inspired by a dream Heather had about me in which she was travelling through time on a porch swing and my father was Hulk Hogan.

03 August 2007

Bladder Tap

Suggested by Eric, who said the name came to him as he was driving his dog home from the vet.

28 July 2007

Fastest Loser

Inspired by watching track and field events.

13 July 2007

Aural Small Print

Suggested by Mr. Phin

Absent American

Inspired by the fact that I will miss out on yet another London Blogger meet-up.

08 July 2007

Heroic Doses

Suggested by Eric

29 June 2007

Prom For Sharks

Dirty Waves

Inspired by a story of Sara Huws' former roomate who, amid coming off some kind of a drug high, became convinced that his brain was being infected by "dirty waves" caused by another roomate's using their WiFi connection to access porn.

27 May 2007

Stupid Hamster

Inspired by a conversation with Chris' friend, who suggested that a hamster unable to identify the choking hazard inherent to Legos probably doesn't deserve to live.

25 April 2007

22 March 2007

The Sad and Black Reality

Probably a better name for an album

15 March 2007

Super Wasted

Inspired by my own comment on my English blog.

12 March 2007

Chwarter i Nawr

Suggested by one of my professors, who said it would make a good name for an album. Translated from Welsh it means "Quarter to Now." It sounds like it would be a Van Morrison follow-up album to "Inarticulate Speech of the Heart."

My Testicles Are Razor Blades

Probably a better name for an album, actually.

07 March 2007

The Soul Kill Pills

Inspired by my nickname for the anti-depressants I'm on.

14 February 2007

Los Amigos Falsos

See below.

The False Friends

Inadvertently suggested by my Spanish translation professor.

12 February 2007

Sentient Crow

Suggested by Neil


Inspired by a comment someone made in my Spanish class.

(ASBO stands for Anti-Social Behaviour Order)

21 January 2007

16 January 2007

11 January 2007

12 November 2006

Cystitis Overturn

Suggested by Rhys, who got the idea from a failure by Welsh government types to understand Welsh.

Corfu Death Children

Suggested by Jen, who got the idea from this BBC story.

08 November 2006

Enormous Gay Mexican

From a conversation I had with Curly.

07 November 2006

25 October 2006

02 September 2006

Sex With Buildings

Inspired by this post

Bang the Hammer, Logan

Actually a better name for an album...

01 September 2006

09 August 2006

07 July 2006

22 June 2006

The Suck Kings

Inspired by the U.S. soccer team's performance (or lack thereof) in the 2006 World Cup.

17 June 2006

16 June 2006

04 May 2006

Power Rangers Rendezvous

Inspired by Sarah's first sexual experience.

Honky Guilt

Stolen from a post by Omega.

02 May 2006

11 April 2006

10 April 2006

The Electric Belly

Suggested by Lucky, who thinks the band would play "Buddha-metal."

The Man Who Invented China

Bacon Foot

04 April 2006

The Death Freezers

Inspired by Huw's field trip

Spider-Infested Head Wound

Suggested by Rachel on MooCow's blog and brought to my attention by Heather.

30 March 2006

28 March 2006

28 February 2006

Jenny Appreciation Society

Inspired by Bloomington, Minnesota's newest social club.

24 February 2006

Death Panda

Inspired by 2008 Olympic mascot Jingjing

Cheeky Football

Inspired by Pille the World Cup 2006 mascot.

23 February 2006

17 February 2006

Sunny Death Squad

A bastardization of Sarah's suggested band name of Sunni Death Squad.

16 February 2006

8 Ounces Of Me

Inspired by the fact that it is possible to make jewelry using 8 ounces of cremated remains.

14 February 2006

Throwing Chinese Women

Inspired by the way in which Chinese figure skater Zhang Hao reared back and tossed Zhang Dan across the ice like a sack of potatoes in their 2006 silver-medal performance.

13 February 2006

10 February 2006

09 February 2006

02 February 2006

01 February 2006

Fiddy Ceiniog

A Welshified version of the gangsta way to say 50 Cent.

31 January 2006

Drowning Nebraska

Inspired by the plight of Ashland, Neb.

Netherlands Salamander Invasion

Inspired by Astrid's recent dinner conversation.

28 January 2006

Funk Audit

Suggested by Goo.

20 January 2006

19 January 2006

17 January 2006

Welsh Heat

Suggested by jay are and inspired by my nickname for Huw.

Butt-Bandit Cowboys

Inspired by my co-worker's politically incorrect description of "Brokeback Mountain."

16 January 2006

The Quartormemes

Inspired by the French habit of quickly bringing in a 14th guest if a dinner party has 13 guests.

Rage Hangover

12 January 2006

05 January 2006

04 January 2006

03 January 2006

30 December 2005

21 December 2005

Failed Blog Ambition

Inspired by the countless blogs that have only one post.

19 December 2005

Nipple Reconstruction

Inspired by use of the phrase in a health story about using a fat from a woman's ass to give her bigger breasts.

Problems With Verbs

09 December 2005

Blue Monkeys

Suggested by jay are and inspired by this blog post.

08 December 2005

Sticky Buttons

Buckwheat Pancake

Mwnci Bach Drwg

Welsh for "Naughty Little Monkey," it is inspired by a song that is currently one of my favorites.

07 December 2005

Frivolous Gymsuit

Suggested by Heather, who was inspired by this blog post.

Yellow Afro Love Munch

Suggested by Crystal

El Presidente de NASCAR

Inspired by a Domino's Pizza ad starring Dale Earnhardt Jr.

The Provo Incident

Inspired by the time I was walking in Provo, Utah, and a guy leaned out the window of a passing car and screamed "Hey man, fuck you!"

Strangely, he did not appear to be screaming at me. I think he was directing his anger toward Provo in general.

Booze Sippy Cup

Civil War Surgery

The Italian Suppositories

Color-Coded Fear