15 December 2008

13 October 2008

The Sex Nadirs

Suggested by Heather, who saw it on a knitting website: "The thing in your relationship that concerns me is the lack of sex. Obviously, things wane. That initial burst of 5 times a day eventually wears off and all relationships do have their sex nadirs (The Sex Nadirs would be a terrible name for a band), but these things are cyclical and temporary."

15 September 2008

10 September 2008

God Particle

Inspired by the LHC.

02 July 2008

29 May 2008

Strong Earthquake

Just for the sake of being able to go with this headline

15 May 2008

Hatless Welsh Whores

Inspired by friend Fflur's self-description.

09 May 2008

Y Rheng Byddwn

Welsh for "The Row of I Would," inspired by a line of girls I saw the other day, all in their summery low-cut top glory.

06 May 2008

Dirty English Whores

Inspired by my friend's flatmate, whom I am convinced is the one who gave her ring worm (never mind that my friend works with children).

16 April 2008

Bad Luck Steve

Inspired by the strange tone of disdain used by Dermot Murnaghan on "Eggheads" when he was consoling a contestant.

Bomb Pops to the Malevolent

Inspired by phrase I used in a recent column.

27 March 2008

The Joyful Deaths of Several Young Children

Taken from the utterly-strange-but-true title of a 17th century children's book: "A Token for Children: Being an Exact Account of the Conversion, Holy and Exemplary Lives, and Joyful Deaths, of Several Young Children" by James Janeway (1671)

30 January 2008

Candy Fist

Inspired by my desire to put my hand in a candy floss machine.

Isolating Cock

Written on Arriva Trains carriages. One assumes it is some sort of mechanical thing.

Isolating Cock

Written on Arriva Trains carriages. One assumes it is some sort of mechanical thing.

28 January 2008

The Poo Kettlers

Thought up by Michelle, who misinterpreted a student survey.